'How To Be Beautiful And Popular'
I found an article called 'how to be beautiful and popular' on http://www.happywomanmagazine.com/Features/popular1.htm
Here it is:
The Beauty & Popularity Link
By Madame Borshka
It is perhaps a secret that popularity and beauty go hand in hand. Beautiful people have smooth open faces, clear child-like eyes, graceful movement and long lithe bodies. We not only love to look at them we love to be with them.
I of course can't make you beautiful but I can certainly make you less offensive.
Here are a few tips that will change your life!
Agree, agree agree. No one likes people who will argue. Arguing leads to unladylike gesticulations and liver spots.
Everything is either black or white. Grey is not only unflattering but it may lead to independent thought (wrinkles) and over-eating.
Different can be ugly. Different says," Look at me I'm Different!" It is not what we are used to seeing, so the muscles on the forehead contract and result in furrowed brows, crows feet and lactose intolerance.
People who are different usually have ideas that are foreign to others and the ideas are usually very boring. Who wants to hear about the Rainforest which is probably very far away,when Jennifer Aniston just got married right in your own backyard!
Being "different" can also lead to a dowager's hump.
You can be a feminist, just don't tell anyone. Feminists aren't popular "in" this year.Granted it is thanks to them that women are achieving equal status to men etc. etc., but they are so fond of drab earthtones. Why be lumped in with the wildflowers when you can be a rose.
Feminism also leads to senile dementia.
Accept that the world is the way it is and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Talking about world hunger and war isn't going to make your guests feel comfortable at a cocktail party it may in fact put them off the canapes. Excessive worry over uncontrollable events will cause osteoporosis.
Adopt other's viewpoints as your own. You can never ever go wrong with this. The only time you will run into a sticky situation is when you are standing in a group of three and two people have opposing view points (you will note how unattractive it is as they argue) A very smooth tip is to say to each one. "You have a very good point, I understand what you are saying" and then head for powder room to place a damp cloth on your forehead.
Now, go be lovely!
I sincerely hope you don't believe any of this! This article basically tells you to conceal what you are because others won't like it. Don't you see something wrong with that?
Here it is:
The Beauty & Popularity Link
By Madame Borshka
It is perhaps a secret that popularity and beauty go hand in hand. Beautiful people have smooth open faces, clear child-like eyes, graceful movement and long lithe bodies. We not only love to look at them we love to be with them.
I of course can't make you beautiful but I can certainly make you less offensive.
Here are a few tips that will change your life!
Agree, agree agree. No one likes people who will argue. Arguing leads to unladylike gesticulations and liver spots.
Everything is either black or white. Grey is not only unflattering but it may lead to independent thought (wrinkles) and over-eating.
Different can be ugly. Different says," Look at me I'm Different!" It is not what we are used to seeing, so the muscles on the forehead contract and result in furrowed brows, crows feet and lactose intolerance.
People who are different usually have ideas that are foreign to others and the ideas are usually very boring. Who wants to hear about the Rainforest which is probably very far away,when Jennifer Aniston just got married right in your own backyard!
Being "different" can also lead to a dowager's hump.
You can be a feminist, just don't tell anyone. Feminists aren't popular "in" this year.Granted it is thanks to them that women are achieving equal status to men etc. etc., but they are so fond of drab earthtones. Why be lumped in with the wildflowers when you can be a rose.
Feminism also leads to senile dementia.
Accept that the world is the way it is and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Talking about world hunger and war isn't going to make your guests feel comfortable at a cocktail party it may in fact put them off the canapes. Excessive worry over uncontrollable events will cause osteoporosis.
Adopt other's viewpoints as your own. You can never ever go wrong with this. The only time you will run into a sticky situation is when you are standing in a group of three and two people have opposing view points (you will note how unattractive it is as they argue) A very smooth tip is to say to each one. "You have a very good point, I understand what you are saying" and then head for powder room to place a damp cloth on your forehead.
Now, go be lovely!
I sincerely hope you don't believe any of this! This article basically tells you to conceal what you are because others won't like it. Don't you see something wrong with that?
posted by J at 6:34 AM
1 Comments:
Please tell me this was a spoof article!
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